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Zipper Issue
By Anonymous
Just wanted to let you know that the most horrible thing happened to me. I had to pee like no other time in my life just a few moments ago. I got up from my chair, walked to the ladies room (directly across the hall from my office door, literally two steps away). I got in, locked the door and proceeded to unzip my pants. That's where the action stops. My zipper was stuck. Yes, stuck, stationary, anchored, immobile, inert, moored, motionless, nailed, nailed down, parked, pat, permanent, stable, stagnant, standing, static, stock-still, unmoving.
I tried and tried, even thought about shimming my jeans over my hips. Then I had a flashback to the episode of Friends when Ross is fighting the leather pants – he gets them off but can't get them back on. So my only hope was to pull the zipper apart.
I am now sporting my jeans, fly down, mind you, with my shirt untucked. Thank God for ponytail holders and belts. The jeans are about four years old, so I can see how the zipper might be unreliable. Hopefully I can get them repaired. Hey, jeans are jeans – and they worked well with the whole expanding waistline thing, since they are so low on the hips.