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Two Weeks
By Tommy and Sheila Attaway, Jr.
With my second child I wanted to breastfeed to see what it was like. With my first I never even considered it. So after I had her by C-section, they brought her in to me. My greatest fear was not doing it right and her not taking my breast. But before I could really position her she had latched on. My husband and I just watched with watery eyes. The sight of her nursing and the way she knew what to do was overwhelming.
For about two weeks I fed her with delight every time she wanted it. It was the most amazing feeling. But about two weeks after her birth I started crying every time I fed her or even leaked. The breast milk coming out was releasing hormones to regulate my body after giving birth. I tried to hold it out, but I was stuck at home because I couldn't stop sobbing. Finally, my husband contacted my mother who lives in another state. She came down to try and help me through what I was going through. But still nothing happened. I finally broke down and asked my mother to go get some formula because I was actually scared to feed her.
I fed her the formula and she took it great. After hours of contemplating I decided then that this was the way to go for myself and my baby. The next seven days were the most painful thing I have ever experienced. My breasts looked like two square bricks. I would run to the bathroom to release some breast milk, just to make a little of the burning sensation go away, and I had to sleep sitting in a chair with a super tight bra and a whole ear of cabbage sticking out of my shirt.
I don't recommend just quitting – you should wean slowly. But worse than the pain, my guilt was overwhelming. I didn't want to go anywhere because I was ashamed to pull out a bottle in front of anyone I knew. I was afraid they would think I was selfish for not giving my baby what was best for her. It took me a while to realize that if I don't take care of myself, there's no way I could take care of my baby.
If you can nurse your baby, you will love it. I only did it for two weeks and I have a bond with this baby that I didn't get to experience with my first child as an infant.